Unkle Sketchy's Rants...

Everyone has an Unkle Sketchy in their life. You may not know it, so your lucky. But if you do, you know that Unkle Sketchy has something to say about everything and more often than not, everything to say about something. See what Unkle Sketchy has to say about...
·more as Unkle Sketchy thinks of them...

On assholes...

For the last few days, this guy has been riding our schoolbus. He goes to a small magnet high school but still rides our bus. During the two days he's been there so far he's made comments to the effect that (and i quote) "if assholes could fly, then Aloha High School would be an airport." Hmmm...that got me thinking. What if assholes could fly? If they could fly, then why would they need airplanes, or an airport? Maybe AHS is an airport for the less fortunate, grounded assholes who have to take a plane to get to their asshole conventions and whatnot. Well, obviously this wasn't the perfect insult but the guy certainly had chutzpah to say that on a bus full of AHS students.(5/18/01)

On diversity...

The other day, I heard an amusing prank call by a radio station on the way to school...
"We're going to prank call a listener's mother who is upset he has homosexual friends. Calling..."
"Hello, Mrs. Smith?"
"Yes, this is Butch's counselor at school."
"Is Butch in trouble?"
"No no, I just had a matter to discuss with you. I've talked with Butch for some time and we've done several tests and we feel it's best that I was the one to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"I'll be frank, Mrs. Smith. Your son is a homo sapien."
"Oh my god! I can't believe it! Well, there was that uncle."
"Yes well, he shows all the signs."
"But he plays football!"
"Actually, believe it or not, many football players are homo sapiens."
"What will his father say?"
"Would you like me to call him at work for you or would you like to break the news?"
"No, I'll tell him. Are you 100% sure?"
"I'm positive ma'am. He is definately a homo sapien. Here at school, we try to be as positive and supportive as we can to our homo sapien students. You can be sure that if he ever needs guidance, we'll be there."
"All right, well, thanks for calling. I'll be sure to talk with him."
"Thank you for your time ma'am. I'm glad you realize that homo sapiens are people too."(5/28/01)

On Trix...

I was thinking the other day (well, it wasn't on purpose). What about that trix rabbit? For as long as I can remember, since I was a little kid, he's never got so much as a bite of the product he endorses. What's up with that? I mean, he goes through so much trouble. He wins ice skating competitions, goes to outer space and lord knows what else to get some. Doesn't this rabbit have a life? Why don't those annoying little twerps just give him the damn cereal so he can move on to say, oh, waffles. Although, he probably wouldn't have much of a future career considering that his only qualifications seem to be chasing fruity cereal...and he sucks at that, silly rabbit. (side note: while perusing the net for the accompanying pic, i found this interesting website,
enjoy. Hint: Ever wonder what would happen if the rabbit finally snapped?)(6/2/01)

On Graduation...

The year is finally over. I can't believe it. For me, it just seemed to fly by. It's really tough watching the seniors go. As a band member/long distance runner, I got to know more seniors than the average frosh which makes saying goodbye even harder. I sat there last night at the Graduation thinking, "oh hey, this is fun, look at the funny hats." I think it was this morning when it hit me. My friends are adults now. They voted earlier this year. They gave blood. They have jobs. They drive. They have four years of high school under their belts. They're going to college. Will I ever see any of them again? Will they come back to visit? Would they want to? Am I going to have to say goodbye another two times like this? College always seemed kind of like a mythical place. My parents remember back in the day. I could never really visualize myself being that old. But this morning, I realized...only two more graduations until I won't be watching from the audience.(6/8/01)

On Hiking...

Last weekend, I went on a backpacking trip to Green Lake, where (the next day) we climbed South Sister. The third highest peak in Oregon, I believe it's about 10,000 feet high. You can really feel the lack of 02 as you get closer to the summit. Along the way, we climbed up lots of very steep areas where there was loose rocks, boulders, and gravel. As we were climbing around a glacier, my friend sent a fairly large boulder rolling down it. It picked up speed quite well, and after a few minutes, we could still see it rolling down; a speck in the distance. I hope no one happened to be in it's path. That could've been ugly. At the summit, you can see for a heck of a long way. As the clouds move around, we saw the other Sisters. At the top, we met this blind dude who climbed South Sister as training for Three-Fingered Jack the next day. A little tip for all you would-be mountain climbers...if you run down a mountain in hiking boots, be prepared for your knees to be extremely sore the next day.(7/21/01)

On Kids...

Today, I volounteered at OMSI again helping to do the magic trick demo. For one trick, my friend allowed the audience to pick four random cards, which inevitably turn out to be aces. Before revealing them, however, she asked if anyone could guess what they'd be. A little girl said, "They're Aces!." How'd she predict this? Well, "there are four aces!." Can't argue with that, eh? (8/2/01)