Life's Little Lessons. |
| · Just because it fits in your mouth doesn't mean you should put it in there. |
| · Contrary to popular belief, cats and car car washes don't mix. |
| · Also contrary to popular belief, valve oil is no subsitute for a good pencil. |
| · Your computer will crash right before you save the last half hour's worth of work on the paper due tomorrow. It will take 2 hours to remember what you wrote. |
| · No matter how hard you try, you will not
fit your hand through that crack between the car seats far enough to grab whatever it was that fell down there. |
| · Sooner or later, you are going to forget your own name and/or phone number. |
| · Pay phones have phone numbers too. |
| · Drinking an orange through a straw only works if you have a really juicy orange. |
| · CD's make good frisbees. Plungers can be thrown so that they stick to the wall. |
| · Anything ill-gained is vastly more interesting. |
| · It helps to remember that our parents came from the generation that bought pet rocks. |
| · Polytones are cool. (i.e. try whistling singing simultaniously.) |
| · Grapes will spark in the microwave. Cut one 99% in half leaving two halfs connected by the skin and put them face down on a plate. |
| · Label makers in the wrong hands can be a dangerous thing. |
| · Naps are under-rated. |
| · You can really heat up the metal strip on a ruler by quickly rubbing it on the rubber on your shoe. |
| · You can make fart sounds with your neck if you're skinny enough, or with your hands if you're talented. |
| · Bugs are drawn to sweat. And septic tanks. |
| · Everybody has a scar, injury, or other oddity they like to show off. |
| · Speakers and stereos pick up radio waves. You can hear them if you listen hard enough. |