FAQ

Who are you, and how did you get on the internet?
·I blame the economy.

Why Stapler Fight?
·Good question...it's actually a somewhat vague reference to a Dilbert cartoon i once read. Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey are competing for the last engineering job in a quasi-olympic type deal. One event is the "Staple Chase" (get it? Staple Chase? ok, it's a track thing) and Dilbert gets wasted. By a monkey. I think this is a metaphor for life in that we will all at some time or another get stapled to a bullitin board.

How often to you update this site?
·Whenever i have time...hope that helps.

I want to have your children.
·no

Is the RockCam really live or is it just a picture of a rock with a clock under it?
·I think you just answered your own question.

Where can I buy a Stapler Fight T-shirt?
·You would want to endorse my site on your body? A good sharpie marker has the same effect and you probably already own one.

U R Kewl, lol. How can i b kewl like u?
·Learn to spell, tard.

I just started my own website. Any tips for a newbie?
·Glad you asked, Timmy. Do you know any HTML? No? Well, a good website really only needs one thing: <A HREF="http://benlizard.tripod.com">Stapler Fight</A>. Just copy that anywhere and you'll be on the road to success in no time. Good luck!

Where do you get your ideas?
·Some, i steal. The rest I pull out of my bum.

I notice that you don't have any disclaimers. Aren't you worried somebody might take legal action against you?
·Not really.

May i link you on my site?
·Is the pope catholic?

I expected to see more loose women and drugs on your site. Frankly, i'm dissapointed.
·Good point. Check out the "sexy" section if you're into that stuff.

I think this site rules, but i had a devil of a time finding it. You should promote it more.
·Well, let me think about this. Real promotion involves a little thing i like to call "money." You pay big important websites (like CNN.com or Amazon.com) "money" and they put a tiny little link to your site, on theirs. Hopefully, this will generate more traffic. Now, seeing as how this site generates exactly no revenue, I have exactly no "money" to promote my site. This is where you come in, Sparky! The best (and cheapest) form of promotion is by word of mouth. If you like this site, for Pete's sake tell somebody about it! Send an email, tell someone at your local school, book club, AA, or in the chat rooms. Good luck!

My band teacher told me that transpo is cool. Is he right?
·Depends if you think black knee socks and sweaters are hip.

My mom says i'm cool.
·No, it's much more likely that you misheard her. What she actually said was: "You are a loser."

New FAQ's

What exactly is Stapler Fight?
·I'm not sure, exactly. I think it's a e-zine, or small, one man newspaper. It's whatever you want it to be, baby.

Are the T-shirts for real?
·Yes. Go buy one now.

Do you actually own any of your own merchandise?
·No.

Where is the guestbook?
·Try the "contact" section.

Where is the Ultimate Poopie List?
·There's a link to it from the bottom of the WTSDBA page, or you can use this.

How often do you update your page?
·It depends on how heavy traffic is, but usually once or twice a week. Join the mailing list to be notified of updates.

Instead of pictures, I get a "Hosted by Tripod" image, what's the deal?
·The problems is at tripod's end. Try reloading the page and the problem will normally fix itself. It's the price you pay (one of many, actually) for a free website. Also, if you try to link directly to one of my pictures from your site, you'll probably get the same error because you're stealing bandwidth. Naughty, naughty.